Raising Middle School Girls

Learning how to let your kid make mistakes

Janice Scholl Episode 39

It’s so easy for us parents to do things for our kids so they can avoid failure, or simply to help them get ahead. Sometimes we do it out of fear of them getting it wrong, worrying about their future, impatience, or even simply to be nice. In fact, it often feels like allowing our kids to fail or expecting them to figure things out on their own is mean by today's parenting standards. But are we really helping our kids when we take over? In this episode, Jessica Lahey, acclaimed author of The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed shares her insights on the role failure plays in fostering resilience and competence in our kids, and why middle school is the perfect time for parents to begin passing the reigns to our kids, whether they (or we) are ready or not.

Books mentioned in this episode:
How to Be a Happier Parent, KJ Dell'Antonia
How to Raise an Adult, Julie Lythcott-Haims

About the Guest:
Jessica Lahey
is the author of the New York Times bestselling book, The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed and The Addiction Inoculation: Raising Healthy Kids in a Culture of Dependence. Jess was awarded the Research Society on Alcohol’s Media Award for “outstanding journalistic efforts of writers who cover empirical research on alcohol” […] “for her book The Addiction Inoculation and advocacy for the recovery community.” Over twenty years, Jess has taught every grade from sixth to twelfth in both public and private schools, and spent five years teaching in a drug and alcohol rehab for adolescents in Vermont. She has written about education, parenting, and child welfare for The Washington Post, The Atlantic, and her biweekly column “The Parent Teacher Conference” ran for three years at the New York Times. She designed and wrote the educational curriculum for Amazon Kids’ award-winning animated series The Stinky and Dirty Show, and was a 2019 Pushcart Prize nominee. Jess holds the dubious honor of having written an article that was later adapted as a writing prompt for the 2018 SAT. She co-hosts the #AmWriting podcast from her empty nest in Vermont.

Learn more about Jessica's work at www.jessicalahey.com.
Connect with Jessica on IG.
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